Rhythm

Hello, blog. Nice to see you again.

A writer friend and I were talking this afternoon about various things--contests, short stories, poetry, our works in progress--and she sent me a short story she wrote for a parable-writing contest. I read it. Liked it. Gave her some advice, because I'm a jerk like that. And one thing that occurred to me as we were discussing her work (it is a short story in verse), is how important rythym is in my writing. Perhaps you are thinking, What does he mean by rythym? This is what I mean:

I have to like how it sounds out loud.

A big part of writing for me is the way the words flow. The ease with which they fall off the tongue. Or, in certain cases, the difficulty with which they fall off the tongue. But most importantly, the way they flow.

Here is a quick example of the rhythm that I'm talking about:

Miranda wears that dress today,
The one she wore that day in May,
That day in May she went away,
Miranda wears that dress today.

Miranda cries a tear today,
The way she cried that day in May,
That day in May she went away,
That day her baby passed away.

Miranda puts her lipstick on,
The way she did when he passed on,
She smeared it on when he passed on,
Miranda's almost halfway gone.

Miranda's hair is ratted there,
On her neck, her shoulders bare,
Ratted like she doesn't care,
Miranda's hair is ratted there.

Miranda lies down in the tub,
Her dress, her hair, her lipstick rub,
She lies down in the tub to scrub,
Her memory bare, there in the tub.

Miranda takes the razor blade,
That wicked blade the devil made,
Miranda takes the razor blade,
And puts it to her wrist.

Now, I'm not saying that the entire novel has to rhyme. But I like the rhythm of the stanzas above, how the words sound when they are read aloud, and this is how I try to write.

Here is another example:

I'm blue. You, too? Boo hoo. What do you do.
One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.
Blue's a cliche, she says to you. You expect it, too. Right on cue. What do you do.
One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.
You prove through and through, that blue's tried and true, and always in view, but always too few. Like the juniper dew, or lupin in lieu of the ho-hum hue of the ocean.
Snow can be blue, if the night light is new, like the twilight that's due before dawn.
It's the color of rue, or the color of woo, or the bluebird the flew from the lawn.
It's the lake-front view from the pastoral pew of the tree trunk or two that the wind cruelly blew, like a hurricane brewing abroad.
It's the chill of the flu, a cat's doleful mew, Elvis's shoe, a blueberry brew, a pale-colored glue, are you getting a clue? Do you see how her logic is flawed?
What do you do.
Are you blue?
Yeah, me, too.
One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.

I think this is why it is so important to read your work out loud. Rhythm is the key. Rhythm is fun to read, and rhythm will make the words stick in the mind and in the heart of the reader. Why do you think Shakespeare's stuff was/is so popular? He wrote with rhythm. Why do you think Eminem's stuff is so popular? It's certainly not his class, or his gratuitous use of the expletive. It's because it has rhythm. His words flow. The sentences themselves are musical. Rap, in general, is that way. There aren't any real power chords, or melodies. Just the thump of the drum and the rhythm of the words.

There is real power in that kind of writing.