I have read nearly every book there is to read about writing compelling fiction. I have spent more money than I can count on a creative writing education. I am a voracious reader. I have written 2 complete novels, 2 almost complete novels, dozens of short stories, and several blog posts. And with all of that knowledge and experience, I think I can finally sum up what it takes to be a successful author.
1 - A perfect opening line.
2 - An exciting opening chapter.
3 - 25 more exciting chapters.
4 - A smattering of witty dialogue.
5 - An emotionally satisfying ending.
6 - An agent. Which is not possible.
7 - A compelling character. Or a vampire.
8 - Thick skin.
9 - The luck of the Irish. And a leprechaun.
And finally,
10 - A large bottle of cheap whiskey.
That's pretty much it. Good luck, and good night.
That's really all it takes to become a successful author? I mean, come on. How hard could it be to write an exciting opening chapter and 25 more exciting chapters to follow?
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahaha.......Man, I crack myself up!
Still haven't forgiven Stephen Meyer, huh? Vampire. *eyes rolling*
Personally, I'm still amazed that you have yet to become a famous author. Honestly, you have good work. You're a very talented write. What gives? Is it the leprechaun?
PS.
ReplyDeleteDo you know that it takes a little longer than one might like to post something on your blog? What's with the fifty questions? Geez, man.
K, it might be possible that somebody peed in my Cheerio's this morning. Sorry for taking it out on you.
Nothing like a little pee in your cheerios to put you in a foul mood. I totally get that. Sorry about the fifty questions, but you can never be too careful in this murderous e-world we live in.
ReplyDeleteProbably the worst introduction to a how-to-write book was the one we got at the LDStorymakers conference. Did you read it? The guy was basically like, I read a book, thought, I could do this, sat down and banged something out, and, ta-da! - got published.
ReplyDeleteHopefully that guy is not your friend. Or father. If so, I take it all back...
But anyway, writing is anything but easy! Love the list, though...
Kim Karras
Kim - That dude at the conference was a freak. I'd punch him in the junk if I ever saw him again.
ReplyDeleteHa sounds like I missed a good writer's conference this year. HA
ReplyDelete